The Transformational Rockstarr

I was in the process of transitioning my blog content when I discovered something – not everything is carrying over.

*insert epiphany*

Sometimes, we have to find new ways to do things. Sometimes, these new ways require us to release old ways of doing things.

This is one of those times.

For years, The Motivational Rockstarrr/The Transformational Rockstarr blog has been a stand alone spot on the interwebs! A place where I can release my thoughts, tell short stories, and give a bit of Rockstarr motivation. Now that I have a website, my blog will be hosted there. It’ll be easier for my readers to find me, and it will be easier for me to maintain.

With that being said, feel free to stop by here anytime for flashback memories and motivation. Starting today, all future blog posts will be hosted on my home site. I invite you to subscribe to my newsletter, where you’ll receive the latest in blog updates, self care lessons and tips, and events.

Thank you to ALL of my Rockstarrs – past and present – for your unconditional Love and support. We’re off to bigger and better things!

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Hello, fellow Rockstarrs!

By the time you read this, I would have completed my end of quarter detox. Five days, y’all! Five days of strict nutritional choices (I don’t like the word “diet”), cleaning out, reorganizing, and preparing for colder temperatures. I’m glad it’s over!

I must say, though, a lot of gems can be found in the detox process.

Today marks 14 weeks that I’ve been fully self-employed! FOURTEEN…LONG…WEEKS!

Y’all! Y’all! Don’t buy the lies they try to sell you on those Facebook ads!

Let’s do the math, shall we?

14 x 7 = 98

Ninety-eight days…why am I still getting my bearings?! I’ve read the books. I’ve attended the webinars/seminars/teleconference calls. I’ve made the “list” – repeatedly. I’ve done the events. I’ve done the networking.

Is it me? Am I not approachable? Do I smell?

(Sniffs armpits…I’m good!)

So, what’s the real deal? The real deal is that *clap* THIS *clap* TAKES *clap* TIME! No 90 days. Not 60 days. Not 30 days. Truth be told – and all you experts/gurus/coaches/etc can get mad if you want – there is no possible way to determine how long your individual, fingerprint-like business will grow.

*steps off soap box and returns to epiphany*

As I was cleaning out my laptop I came across gem #1: my recorded strategy session that I had with my coach a few months ago. It was even more eye opening because I was listening to his words – and the plan – as an entrepreneur this time, and not an employee. It helped to clear out some of the fog that had settled around my eyes during this time of transition.

Gem #2 was my “plan of emergence” for this blog. This is back when it was The Motivational Rockstarr! My original followers know about that! Reading this plan – one that I wrote way back in 2011 – was yet another eye opener. It made me realize that no matter how long you’ve been in business, when it’s time for ish to happen, it’ll happen. Of course, planning, producing, and collaborating the right way will help. Bottom line, there’s an ebb and flow at work that no one – not even the best business minds in the world – can override.

I’ve had ebb and flow moments with readers for this blog, readers for my books, freelance clients, coaching clients, collaborations – everything! There were times when I needed an assistant, and there were times when I simply needed a lead! That’s just how it is being in business. When you’re IN someone else’s business you don’t always see the intricacies of what’s going on. You don’t feel the effects of the ebb unless they start cutting hours or laying people off. When you RUN the business, you see it from an entirely different perspective. Anyone that decides to toss their hat in this ring, I salute you. And if you say, “Bump this!” and take your hat back, I totally understand.

Here’s my point. Chasing our tails will have us falsely going around in circles, repeatedly doing the same things in the same way expecting different results. Sometimes, the tools, the tips, the “gems” we needed were right there all along, but we decided to let someone “sell” us on their plan, abandoning our gem for their rock dipped in marble paint.

I found my gems, I’m dusting them off, and this time they will not get away from me. It’s time to get back to doing what I was sent her to do in the first place.

Long story short:

Diamond Cartel Books

Diamond Cartel is BACK!

Its-not-about

Five months!

We have five FULL MONTHS (depending on when you’re reading this) to make life happen. I’ve said before that I don’t to “resolutions.” I’m more of a goal setter. Now, after the past quarter, I’m not even focused on goals.

*que Biggie Smalls*

It’s all about the outcomes, baby! (Remix!)

That’s what really matters. It’s not the process we need to focus on, it’s the results. There are a plethora of ways, means, and paths to end up with the same outcome. So, really, does it matter if plan A turns out to flop…when there’s a plan B, C, D, and E?

No. No it does not.

Then, what does it mean? It means you are still in the game! It means you can still achieve your desired outcome. Remember, we’re focused on the RESULTS…not the process. That can change. That will change. It’s almost inevitable that life – in all her mysterious ways – will throw all kinds of rocks, wrenches, and tree trunks in your way. This will certainly throw off your process. However, it doesn’t have to throw off your focus, your drive, nor your outcomes.

In a nutshell, there are many ways to get to your intended destination. The title, the process, the label – none of this matters. What matters is you know where you are, know where you’ve been (even if it’s just to ensure you never go there again!), and – most importantly – know where you’re going!

That’s it, Rockstarrs!

Five WHOLE months!

Remember why you started. Refocus on your commitment. Rejoice once you’ve reached your outcome.

Like Ciara said, it’s time to #levelup!

Coach B

Wake Up Call

Your time to shine is NOW!

Rockstarrs!!!

I’ve missed you all! Let me tell you this first half of the year has been a whirlwind of change. Hence the reason for my not-nearly-planned hiatus. I will spare you the details of what 6 months of change can do to a person, but I do want to inspire you in a few ways.

Let’s start with goal setting. How are you doing with your goals? No, not resolutions. Those are fraudulent, empty promises we make as a result of tradition (we traditionally make them and traditionally break them three weeks later). Goals are intentional outcomes we set out to achieve in order to enhance or improve our lives.

So…again…how are you doing with your goals? Have you starting working on them? Are you stuck in a particular stage: research, development, implementation, growth, maintenance? We are at the official half way mark of the year. (Well, for the technical ones we’ll be there at midnight 7/2/2018). Now is a great time to revisit the goals you set for yourself no matter how long ago it was. There’s no set starting point to when you can set or reset a goal. You don’t have to wait until January 1st, the beginning of a month, or even the beginning of a week. You can set a goal at 6:54 pm on a Tuesday if you want! The point is to STICK with the goal once you SET it! Need help in this area? Contact me and let’s talk!

Now let’s talk movement. Have you put your body in motion lately? Not necessarily a full fledged workout, but have you gone outside? Taken a trip? Visited the museum, or art gallery, or metro park? I get we’re in the digital age, but we aren’t digital humans. We’re still analog – for the time being, LOL – and we need to move our bodies! We need fresh air, clean water, and high quality foods to fuel us! That’s how we “plug in” for our energy. Put down the phone and log off the computer for a few hours. Re-calibrate your senses and “ground” yourself back into reality!

“How do I “ground” myself?

I’m glad you asked! It’s simple. Find 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. Grounding is helpful in a variety of ways: to calm anger, to reduce anxiety, and – you guessed it – to bring you awareness of your current reality. Do it today! Thank me tomorrow! :o)

Finally, as we step into a new month, quarter, and semi-annual phase, let’s talk celebration! I’m ALL about celebrating accomplishments – big AND small! What have you achieved lately that you downplayed or gave no attention? Did you start going to work earlier? Have you made strides in your savings account? Got a chance to shoot your shot at that cutie you’ve been eyeing since forever ago? Whatever improvements you’ve made in your life, don’t forget to celebrate them! When you celebrate, you put out an energy signal that says, “I love this! I want more of this!” We already put out negative signals daily whenever we whine, complain, or gripe about things not going our way. Let’s shift that attitude and begin to put out INTENTIONAL signals when things DO go our way! Call it what you want. Credit who you want. The facts are the same – where attention goes, energy flows, and results show! That’s from T. Harv. Eker and it’s as true today as it was when he was given this advice, and when that person was given this advice, and so on, and so on, and Scooby Dooby Doo!

I’m currently less than 48 hours away from ending my 40 day social media fast. It has been much needed and allowed me to position myself accordingly as I enter this new level. Things are definitely looking up and I’m excited to be back to help motivate, inspire, and transform you to look up WITH me as well! Let’s vow to make this second half of the year better than this first; this third quarter of the year the best, and this month the MOST…LIT…EVER!

As for me? I have a few things up under my sleeve, such as my group coaching session, the EmpoWEred Women’s Rock Mixer, and my July Empower Hour! And, of course, if you’re in need of motivation, inspiration, and transformation I’m always here to help you!

What’s on the calendar for your July! Let’s fill it up and make it happen!

I’m in the game WITH you and also rooting FOR you!

***Coach B***

Hey Rockstarrs!

I know…I know…here she go again! LOL!

Honey, listen! Sometimes you have to step back and take care of YOU! That’s what I’ve been doing for the past couple of weeks and will continue to do until 1/1/2018. This is my season to be still, be silent, and re-calibrate myself and my goals!

Not everything needs an announcement; however, I’m not trying to be victim to obscurity. When I first decided to take a break I was going to do it on a personal and professional level. What I’ve learned in the last two weeks is that while it’s perfectly fine for me to take a personal “time out”…it’s not healthy nor wise for my business to do the same. I’m still working diligently behind the scenes speaking with clients, creating new content, and participating in events. I’m also working on making 2018 one hell of a professional year! (Side note: if you haven’t yet, I implore you to read/listen to 10X by Grant Cardone! He is the REAL DEAL!)

On a personal note, I’m refilling my self love tank…amongst other things…and plan to come back bigger, better, and more #F3 than ever! LOL! You’ll see that emergence in due time.

With that being said, I’m going back under, but ISYS LLC is rising again! If you’re in need of a coach, speaker, or women’s advocacy panelist you can contact me at coachcartel@isysconnections.com.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Merry Christmas!

Joyous Kwanzaa!

Blessed and Prosperous 2018!

Now exit 4th quarter with a BANG!!!

Domestic Violence Prevention avatarThis is my theme for the month. October is National Domestic Violence Prevention/Awareness month. For years this month has always been special to me. Not only have I experienced domestic violence – twice – but I’ve been a witness to it far too many times. Domestic violence goes beyond physical abuse. There are varying types: emotional, financial, sexual, mental, religious…the list goes on and on. There are women – and men, believe it or not – who are stuck in relationships today thinking they’re not being abused because their not-so-significant other hasn’t laid a hand on them. That’s the biggest stigma when it comes to domestic violence – that it’s only physical. It’s not! Any form of abuse that’s hurtful, belittling, and limits your quality of life can be considered abuse. There is no love is pain.

But there can be a purpose for it.

What I mean by purposing your pain is to take what you’ve been through and use it to better your life. A lot of times DV survivors feel guilt and shame for their failed relationships. Having society shame us in their own way doesn’t help, neither. How many times have you said or heard these words:

  • That could never be me!
  • How stupidĀ  is she/he for staying?
  • She/he obviously likes the way they treat them or they would have left by now.
  • It can’t be that bad.
  • What’s to complain about? They’re living it up!

I could name countless other comments, but I think as survivors we’ve been shamed enough. Listen, there’s more to leaving a domestically violent relationship than packing your stuff and walking out. It’s not that easy! And, no, you don’t always see it coming. The complicated details can only be understood by those who have been through it. If you have, don’t waste another second giving the shameful thoughts and comments you overhear – or that are told directly to you – another kilowatt of your power! And if you’re the one doing the “talking” just know it’s more helpful to say something positive and beneficial. Keep your shameful feelings to yourself. You’re not helping the situation…AT ALL!

So how can you purpose this pain? Put a positive spin on it. I know there’s nothing positive about the incident in and of itself, but instead of reacting with guilt, shame, or counterproductively with your own attacks, try using the situation to help better your life.

Have you always been told you’re not attractive and no one else would want you? Use this opportunity to practice REAL self love! Every morning, go to the mirror and say these three affirmations:

I love you just as you are!

I appreciate you just as you are!

You’re beautiful just as you are!

Speak life into your self-confidence and self-esteem! Within a weeks time I bet you’ll feel a whole lot better!

Have you battled with finances because your not-so-significant other always controlled money? Take finance classes. Join online financial groups. Envision a better life where money is a tool that’s abundantly at your disposal.

Were you always told you would be nothing without them? Kept in solitude from your family and friends? Now is the best time to surround yourself with positive, uplifting people. This is sometimes tricky because, sadly, not all family members and friends are supportive of DV survivors during this critical time. I highly recommend seeking support groups. They can be found at your local community centers, though DV organizations, meetup.com, and many other places. Having difficulty finding a group? Create one! You are not alone in this journey. Find another lone walker and take this task on together. The more support you can find, the easier it will be.

There are many other ways to purpose your pain. One way that’s helped me is to give back and help others who are now dealing with what I’ve been through. This month I plan on purposing my pain in several ways:

  1. Purpose your Pain AnnouncementPurpose your Pain Open Coaching Sessions – Every Thursday evening from 6 pm – 7 pm EST this month I will host a weekly webinar online to discuss four aspects of domestic violence recovery: acceptance, forgiveness, healing, and forward movement. I invite you to join me and the other participants. As a bonus, all participants are eligible to win a free digital gift basket! Registration is free and participation is confidential. You can register here at Eventbrite. Or you can pop by the Zoom chat room where the webinar will be held. It’s open to all participants and, as stated before, you can participate confidentially.
  2. Stronger Than Life: On Saturday, 10/14, I will be in Bridgeport, CT sharing my story with four other amazing survivors. If you’re in the Bridgeport area I invite you to attend this event. Information can be found on the flyer below:Stronger Than Life 2017
  3. Hurricane eBook sale: The book that saved my life…literally…is on sale this month for $1.99 using coupon code RH32T. It’s available for download on all eReaders at Smashwords .

Hurricane Book Cover Image

There’s no telling what else I will do to bring awareness to this life altering issue. One thing’s for certain; whatever it is I will not let my pain exist in vain. If God spared me then it’s only right that I help others escape the turmoil I went through. Through pain, shame, and victim blame…I will purpose my pain!

Hey Rockstarrs!

Welcome (back) to YOUR blog! Yes, you read that right! This is a place for YOU…the readers…to find the motivation, inspiration, and dedication you need to fulfill YOUR definition of success. Not much has changed about this blog. It’s still designed to help you identify road blocks, remove them, and get you back on track. The only adjustment is in the delivery – as in when you’ll see new posts! You can look forward to a new blog gracing your inbox or newsletter the first of every month! Haven’t subscribed yet? Follow the link and sign up!

For this blog, I want to initiate our new cycle by focusing on a subject that seems to be in the air for a lot of people. That subject is the principle of starting over. We’re in the last 4 month segment of 2017 (or for those that like quarters, the first day of the last month of the 3rd quarter…ya dig?!). While some people are still working diligently towards their goals, there are those who have either: a) given up their goals months ago and returned to everyday living, or b) those who want to “start again” come January 1st. This month’s message is for the masses that are thinking about giving up – or already have.

Honey, listen (when you see this…the message begins!), there is absolutely NO SHAME in not having achieved all you set out to achieve 244 days ago. I’m sure at some point your mojo was on 10 and you were on blaze towards your goals. So what happened? Life! It always does. Finances change. The blaze turned into a fire…then downgraded to a spark…then downgraded again to a sizzle. Support system dried up. Vision got cloudy. Eyes got blurry, filled with tears of regret. And then, you contemplated throwing in the proverbial towel.

Why? Because at some point during December 2016 you heard someone somewhere tell you to make a goal SO BIG that it SCARES the bejeebies out of you! So that’s what you did. You set a goal – or two, or three – so large that you damn near wet your pants in fear, but kept your composure because you knew, you just knew, that by December 2017 you would be balling out of freaking control!

Here’s the problem with – what have been described to me as – BIG, HAIRY, AUDACIOUS GOALS: they don’t happen in 365 days! Super sized goals take TIME! Lots of time! And I don’t mean time to manifest. Once you claim it the goal is yours. What takes time is for your vibration to match the goal, for you to do the work, and for you to SEE (major key – shout out to DJ Khaled!) the goal in your life! Yet that’s one of the things no one tells you! They say dream big, quit your job, work hard, don’t sleep, and your life will change forever. That’s a truth, but a heavily stretched one. So, before you throw in that proverbial towel let’s break down how these BHA goals REALLY happen!

  1. Dream big! This is when you set the goal of your desires. It doesn’t matter what it is: buy a house, get married/divorced, travel more, escape society and go live in the Amazon Rainforest. The point is to identify what makes your heart sing and your spirit almost rise out of your body in excitement! It can be one goal or 100! If it seems damn near unobtainable, but very desirable, that’s your BHA goal.
  2. Quit your job! Let me clear my throat on this one. *ahem* WORST! ADVICE! EVER! Unless you’ve won the Power Ball or inherited a nice chunk of change, you’re still going to have bills and responsibilities while on the road to creating your BHA goal. Anyone that recommends quitting your job is automatically suspect to me. I’m convinced they either didn’t have money issues to begin with (which, in that case, how can they relate to the everyday person’s struggle), or they’re using it as a marketing angle to make themselves look like an overnight success (which we ALL know – or should know – takes about 10 years). Never, ever leave your job (or as Lisa Nichols calls it, your “investor”) before your wings are ready to fly. Sure, make preparations, but January 2nd is not the day to tell your boss to kiss your you-know-what or to spike that annoying co-worker’s coffee with ex-lax and try to say it’s “mocha flavoring!” (Don’t ask…)
  3. Work hard. This tip is inevitable, but it’s also deceiving. Working hard is not – I repeat, NOT – the same as being busy! Working hard can be researching distributors, filling out legal paperwork for business filing, setting up test runs for new products. It does not have to be physically labor intensive or mentally non-stimulating. It’s simply doing what really needs to be done to start on the path of meeting your goals…not what makes it “look” like you’re doing something.
  4. Don’t sleep. GTFOH!!! Have you ever heard the phrase, “Don’t risk your health trying to obtain your wealth.”? Well, this phrase was created to counteract this non-essential bullshit piece of advice. Our bodies need to rest! There is no honor in burnout! You can’t focus if you’re burning the candle on both ends. All that’s going to do is wear you out, tear you up, and make you essentially useless in the pursuit of your own goals. Look, I get it, we live in a society that thrives on instant gratification. However, not everything can be nuked in the microwave for 30 seconds. I like how Eric Thomas put it: “It takes 21 years to be 21!” Some things just…take…time! No amount of sleep deprivation is going to change that. Do your part, and let the rest take care of itself.

*thinks to self: so much for a short blog!*

So what am I saying in all of this…and how does it tie in to the title? Don’t give up just because you’re not “there” yet. Understand and ACCEPT the fact that some goals take longer than others to achieve. If you’ve lost your blaze, find a new direction to achieve the same goal. And for Pete’s sake and for the love of Mike (whomever they are) please, please…DO NOT QUIT YOUR JOB…YET! (The day will come. Hold on, grasshopper!)

Today is a great day to have a great day! Today is also a great day to pick up where you left off. We still have 4 full months until we do this craziness called resolutions again. Don’t start over on January 1st. Keep going on September 1st! Yeah, that sounds real nice!

Stay focused!

#CoachCartel

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